We recently purchased a toddler car seat for our ever-elongating little peanut. She has about half and inch to go before safetly rules dictate that she HAS to use it, but we made the executive decision to switch her over. She loves sitting up higher, and not reclining so much. Which means I can take her out on errands without listening to her cry and fuss about being in her car seat. Although, her new sound is to growl-grunt in her throat when she’s bored, or frustrated, which always makes her cough. I tried explaining that it would continue to make her cough because the nature of the soft tissues of her vocal chords weren’t meant to be rubbed together in that way for extended periods of time, but she just looked away from me and stuck a plastic lid in her mouth. I think she understood, she just didn’t want to let on what a genius she is because she doesn’t want to be taken away by scientists.
I’ve only been a mother for 6 months now, though I’ve been loving and worrying about my daughter for over a year. Being a mother, I mean really mothering is hard. Taking care to every need of your baby, losing sleep for the sake of their comfort, nursing every 10 minutes for hours on end, falling asleep on the couch with a baby on your chest, no dates with your husband for months, having to sneak into bed every night so you don’t wake the baby, scavenging for time to shower and wishing desperately to get out of your maternity pants; that was/is hard. But it is so amazing. The first noise she made, the first time she smiled, the first time she burped on her own, her holding my fingers while she nurses herself to sleep, the way she buries her head into my arms when she’s tired, her laugh, the goofy smile she gets when she’s exhausted, being awake all night because she’s gassy and can’t sleep for more than an hour without waking up, crying. I won’t say it was all wonderful, and that I loved every minute of it, but I loved being there in it. And I love being here in it now. And I can’t wait to find out what I’ll learn about myself this year through my daughters life. I can’t wait to see how she grows and to find out how that means I’ll need to grow.
I read a great article about motherhood:http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
I love the idea of the two types of time we live in: Chronos, our everyday time, doing laundry twice a day time, the stayed out a few minutes too long and have a long drive home with a baby crying in the backseat time; and Kairos, the supreme moments in our life when we see our life through God’s eyes and with God’s perspective.
My baby. From this:
Hey, 2012. Bring it on.